Saturday, December 31, 2016

Latest Chutkule on Pappu

Latest Chutkule and Majedar jokes on Pappu

Pappu badi gaur se kuch dekh raha tha,
Maa – beta kya kar rahe ho?
Pappu – padh raha hoon,
Maa – shaabaash beta,
kya padh rahe ho?
Pappu – aapaki hone vaali bahu ke sms...
phir udta hua chappal sidha Papu ke gaal pe...

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Ye waqt nahin hai rone ka

Ye waqt nahin hai rone ka,
Ye waqt hai Baccha hone ka.
Usss waqt kyon nahin royee thi,
Jab chipak chipak ke soyee thi
Ab jo kiya hai woh bharo,
Tab to bolti thi ki aur karo, aur karo

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Darling agar tum khana banana sikh lo to

Husband - Darling agar tum khana banana sikh lo to Nokrani ka
kharcha bach jayega...
Wife - Darling Agar tum sexx kerna sikh lo to
Mali,
Driver,
Chokidar
In Sab ka kharcha bach jayega...

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Ladki whisper kyu lagati hai agar

Ek Ladka Gutter Main Gir Gaya...
Tabhi Ek Ladki Ki Aawaz Aayi... koi baat nahi,
Surf Excel Hena 'Daag Acchhe Hain'

Ladka angry ho gaya aur bola...
Ladka - Teri Maa Ka... agar
Daag Itne hi Ache Hain to
Niche Whisper Qyu Lagati Hai?

Friday, March 14, 2014

Mast chutkule on sardar

Sardar was driving car very fast...
Trafic police caught him.
Sardar - Sir, I am learning driving.
Police - without any Teacher
Sardar - yes, its my corespondance Course...

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Baap Baap hota hai

Son 2 Dad - Car Ki Chabhi Do,
College Main Function Hai.
-
Dad - Car kyu ?
-
Son - 10 Lakh Ki Car Me Jaunga To
Rob
Padega
-
Dad - ye Le 10Rs 48 Lakh Ki Bus Me
Ja,
Zyada Rob Padega.
baap baap hota hai.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Pati aur Patni ke Funny Chutkule

Pati - chalo, aaj kuch naya karein
Patni - kya kare?
Pati - aaj main tumhare kaan(ear) mein daaloonga
Patni - nahi ... nahi... main behri ho gayi toh?
-
Pati - Maderchod!... ab tak goongi hui thi kya?

********

Patni (Moon Dekhte hue) - Batao Wo Kaunsi Chiz Hai
Jo Tum Roz Dekh Sakte Ho
Par Laa Nahi Sakte?
Pati - Main Nahi Bataunga...
Patni - Bolo Na Plz..
Pati - "Hamari Padosan"

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Swami ji Aisi Patni ko kya kahte hai

Bhakt - Swami ji, aisi Patni ko kya kahte hai
Jo Gori ho, Lambi ho, Sundar ho, Inteligent ho, Pati ko samjhe,
Or kabhi bhi jhagda na kare?
-
-
Swami - Mann ka Vaham kahte hain Beta, Mann ka Vaham!!!!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Ladki ka Medical Checkup

Ek Sexy Ladki Apni Mom ke sath Doctor ke pass gayi
Ladki - Medical Checkup Karana Hai..
Doctor - Sare Kapde Utar Kar,
Parde Ke Piche Let Jao..
Ladki - Mera Nahi, Mummy Ka karana hai..
-
-
Doctor - Mataji Jeebh Dikhaiye..

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Ladki aur Car Main Kya fark hai

Santa - Ladki aur Car Main Kya fark hai?
Banta - Pata nahi..tu hi bata
Santa - Car Kharab ho jaye to ruk jati hai aur
Agar Ladki Kharab ho jaye to Chalu ho jati hai...

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Ek Ladki Ka Dil Chaay Peene Ko Kiya

Ek Ladki Ka Dil Chaay Peene Ko Kiya

Par Jaise Hi Usne Kitchen main dekha To Usmein Doodh Hi Nahi Tha

Tabhi Use ek Idea Aya, wo Apne Kamre Mein Gayi

Aur Apne Kapde Utaare, Aur phir usne Naye Kapde Pahne Aur Market Se Doodh Leke Aayi..

Aur Phir Chaay Banake Pee.


Arey Bhai har Joke Non Veg nahi hota... Cool ho jaiyee

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Ladki in Train

Train main Lutero ne ek ladki ke
zewar loot liye..
-
-
-
Log bole - Shukar karo ki
izzat nahi looti..
-
-
-
-
-
Ladki chillai - Tumhari maa ki
aankh saalo !!
-
Izzat bech bech ke to
sare zewar liye the...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Santa aur Banta in Army

Army Training ke doran 1 officer ne Santa se pocha-
Ye tere hath main kya hai?
-
-
Santa - Sir Ye bandooq hai.
-
-
Officer - Ye bandooq nahi tumhari izzat
or shan hai, tumhari maa hai maa!!
-
-
Phir Officer ne banta se pucha
Tumhare
hath main ye kya hai?
-
-
Banta - Sir, Ye santa ki maa hai or
hamari aunty hai..!!

Boy Girl ke Mast Chutkule

Girl - Jab tumko meri yaad aati hai to tum kya karte ho.. -
-
Boy - tumhari fav. Chocolate kha leta hoon...
Aur tum kya karti ho
-
-
-
Girl - Main bhi Classic pee leti hoon..

********

Ek Ladki Ki T-Shirt Par Bani Billi (Cat) Ki Design ko Ek Ladka Badi Der Se Ghoor Raha Tha...
Ladki Ne Pocha - Ghoor kyu rahe ho, Kabhi Billi Nahi Dekhi Kya?
Ladka : Billi To Dekhi Hai, Par Doodh ki Rakhwali Karte Hue Pehli Baar Dekh Raha hoon

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Santa ke Mast Chutkule

SANTA - maine Pichle 20 Saalo Main 1 Baat Note Ki Hai..
Banta - Wo Kya?
Santa - Saala Jab Bhi Faatak Band
Hote Hai
Tab Train Jaroor Aati Hai...

*******

Santa - tumne itne chhote-Chhote
baal Qu katwaye hain?
Banta - Yar naai ke paas 3 rupye khulle
nahin the, to main bola 3 rupay ke
aur kaat de.....

*******

Santa - Miss, kya aap mujhe
raat ko call kar rahi thi??
Teacher - Nahi to...
Santa - Kamaal hai, subah mere
mobile pe likha tha...
-
-
-
MISS CALL..

*********

Police Station Main Dhobi Ne Santa Ke Khliaf Report Ki...
Dobhi Rote Huye Bola : "Iss Saale Sante Ne Meri Biwi Ki Ijjat Lutt Li"
Police Wala : "Kyu Be, Kyu Kiya Tune aisa?"
Santa : "Sir Ji, Meri Koi Galti Nahi Hai. Main Toh Kapde Press Karvane Gaya Thha"
Police Wala : "Fir?"
Santa : "Mane Isko Awaj Lagayi Toh Ye Bola Ki, Main Khana Kha Raha Hun Istri (iron/lady) Garam Hai Khud Maar Lo"
Aur Maine Chakk Te Fattttttttttte...

*********

Ek Bar Santa ko Raste main ek Patthar Mila
Us par Likha Tha
Patthar ko Palat Lo Kuch Ban Jaaoge
Jaise Hi Usne Patthar ko Palta
Dusri Taraf Likha Tha "Bewkoof"

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Wah re berojgari

Wah re berojgari... ...!!!!!

Nadi mein doobte hue aadmi ne

pull par chalte hue aadmi ko
...
aawaz lagayi "bachao bachao"

pull par chalte aadmi ne neche

rassi pheki aur kaha aaoo..

Nadi mein dobta hua aadmi

rassi nahi pakad pa raha tha

rah rah kar chillaa raha tha

mein marna nahi chahta

zindagi badi mehengi hai

kal hi tho meri ek MNC company mein

naukri lagi hai..

Itna sunte hi pool par chalte

aadmi ne apni rassi kheech li

aur bhagte bhagte wo MNC company gaya

usne wahan ke HR ko bataya ki

abhi abhi ek aadmi doobkar mar gaya hai

aur is tarah aapki company mein ek

jagah khali kar gaya hai...

Mein berojgar hoon muje le lo..

HR boli dost tumne der kar di, ab se kuch der

pehle humne uss aadmi ko lagaya hai

jo usse dhakka de kar tumse pehle yahan aaya hai !!!!